MangaRINer

Hi everyone! I've been thinking. I just started using my deviantart about 3 years ago. But I have a lot of drawings that I made in high school and later on in... oh... how do I translate this... it's called folkhighschool. It's like a school that's in between high school and university. It's an optional school. I went there for a year to study math and that didn't really work out... but the year after that I studied drama. And though I'm not gonna be an actor I still think the drama lessons helped me become a stronger person. It helped me become more comfortable with my personality. Anyway I'm getting off topic xD I drew a lot of drawings back then. Most of them were crap. But some of them I used to be really proud of. And since I recently got a commision that requires me to upload my ponysona, I figured why not upload a lot of drawings from back then? 

You all get too see some of my old drawings xD

I bet some of you are wondering "where are the last inktober and linktober drawings?" Look. I suffer from depression and anxiety and chronic pelvic pain. I thought I could handle 2 challanges at once. I couldn't. My life suddenly got worse during this period and having to force myself to draw while having anxiety was very hard and took a toll on me. I had to draw, pause and have a panic attack, draw again and later pause to have another panic attack. That was me during this whole period. I don't want to force myself to do hard things when I'm sick cuz that is only gonna make me feel worse. I'm surprised I even managed to draw as many drawings as I did this year. Next year, I will really try my hardest to complete just one challange. I've learned to not work on so many projects at once. I've also learned to not force work upon me that will drive me into a self destructing state. I hope that no one is disapointed in me that you never got to see the last drawings. I hope you understand. I've done 2 inktobers now and my first linktober. I haven't completed any of them. But next year I will try my hardest to complete the challenge. Wish me luck!

Now you're probably wondering what I'm gonna work on? I have two canvas paintings that I need to finish. They are my top priority cuz I've already gotten payed for them. Then I have some commisions I need to work on. And I have another project I want to start. But that'll have to wait until I finish the other stuff. So that's it for me. Have a good day!

So I've officially given up on ever finishing my inktober/Linktober in time. I have so many drawings to catch up on + I'm doing 2 challenges at the same time. I will try to draw as fast as I can but I'll probably have to upload some of them in november which sucks. It was really stupid of me trying out 2 challenges at the same time. I have had plenty of personal struggle this month and I've been feeling terrible. Forcing myself to draw even when I've had anxiety has been a horrible experince that I don't want to get used to. I hope you all understand this. Had I been feeling better maybe I would have made it through. But I just can't deal with the pressure right now.